Tomorrow, unless she decides on making an appearance today, I will be able to hold my baby girl in my hands.  I am a little confused on what to think and how to fell.  I think this is the case because all I have to go on is the advice, counsel, and experiences of others.  Now, that is not unhelpful in any way.  It only leaves me thinking, will I experience the same?  Will I feel the same?  If I am not is there something wrong?

I have woken myself up the last few days in a row thinking of her.  She is, after all, in bed with me and my wife.  I wake up.  I look at her and her mother.  Not that I can stare into my child’s eyes yet but I look in her general direction, down.  I think, “This is the most strange, amazing, and dumbfounding time and experience I can remember going through” and she is not even born.

Yes, it is hard to put words to it.  At least, words that can capture what is going on inside my mind and heart, let alone what is going on inside my wife.  Nervous?  Yes, but that seems inadequate.  Joyful?  Yes, but again inadequate.  I imagine this might be one of the times when the speech and words of men fail when they consider deeply what is taking place.  Life begets life.  Is this a moment when the image of God breaks back into this dark world?  I think so.  I think this might be a moment when and where the Lord of all reminds His humble servants of who He is.  He reminds us of the contingency of all things upon His Being.  He reminds us that He is the Ultimate Shaping Reality for life and thought.  I remember Job 38 when I think of these things.

“1Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:

I thought this was a good representation of what a child might think of a whirlwind.

2“Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? 3 Dress for action[a] like a man;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.

4“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
5Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
6On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
7when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

8“Or who shut in the sea with doors
when it burst out from the womb,
9when I made clouds its garment
and thick darkness its swaddling band,
10and prescribed limits for it
and set bars and doors,
11and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther,
and here shall your proud waves be stayed’?

12“Have you commanded the morning since your days began,
and caused the dawn to know its place,
13that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth,
and the wicked be shaken out of it?
14It is changed like clay under the seal,
and its features stand out like a garment.
15From the wicked their light is withheld,
and their uplifted arm is broken.”

This reminder to Job carries on for some time in the account.  It continues and Job speaks in 42:

1Then Job answered the LORD and said:
2“I know that you can do all things,
and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
3 ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?  Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
4‘Hear, and I will speak;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.’
5I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
but now my eye sees you;
6therefore I despise myself,
and repent[a] in dust and ashes.’”

Yes, a whirlwind and things to wonderful for me seem to be a little more in line with what is taking place.  God is in this way demonstrating his Majesty and Might.  He is doing what He wants in humanity but sustaining and continuing to provide for us.  He gives us our children.  He forms them by his hand.  Who is this God that he can even shape the flesh of humanity?  He is the Lord.